Wrote this on the plane

I have an entire row to myself on the plane. It’s awesome. I have all the space in the world to stretch etc. It’s nice to have some room to think. Airplanes are nice. It’s just time for myself where no one can get to me, even if they wanted to. For three and a half hours, there is no possible way for anyone to get to me. I think it’s the freedom of being disconnected from the world, for only a short time that takes some stress off right now.

When Chris dropped me off, he asked if I would call or text him sometimes. This is the first time ever that I’m consciously making a decision to do something like this. The fact that I feel a bit guilty about it means that it’s not the right thing to do. But as always, I need to get this done so I can understand my emotions with Jeremy. Do I have feelings for Jeremy? Do I love that he loves me? I wish I could read it on a billboard in the morning. Just a simple black and white message telling me how I felt about whatever was coming up that day. I want to be wrapped up in his arms and see how I feel. It’s been so long since I felt that spark of my heart beating when someone’s arms are around me. I would love to feel that again. That being said, there’s always that age old ring finger guy that can make… I don’t wanna talk about it.

I’ve forgotten how much I love Sophie Ellis Bextor. I need to remember to write to Tristan and say hello. It’s been a while since we’ve talked. Now there’s a situation for the record books. It wasn’t meant to be I guess. I wonder if I’ll ever see him again and what will happen. I just think it would be interested to see how he’s doing. He was fun. The forbidden relationship was super fun.